Wordless Wednesday

Tackle it

Although it’s been awhile since my last post, I have certainly been writing in my journal to help keep me sane. Between work, the kids and Zumba, I’ve been so busy. So busy that I’ve noticed I’ve been suppressing things that bother me and avoiding situations and issues I need to face. That was about a month ago. Since then I have been so aware. I’ve also tried to stay busy, yet continue to deal with things head on without using being “busy” as an excuse……

What I’ve been tackling…..

Admitting my faults in situations I’m involved in with friends or other relationships. I’m not a perfect person and I’m sure that there’s a lot more wrongs in me, but learning to be more open to avoid serious wrongs in the future is extremely important to my growth.

Dealing with the divorce of some very close friends. Also, learning that letting go is hard, but we all get through it. Most of the of the couples I know are in limbo within their relationships.

Meeting a new “friend” of my very close friend who’s newly divorced. This was the most awkward weekends of my life. My bff’s ex-husband came to visit with his new girlfriend for the whole weekend. It was a super emotional experience for me. I won’t express the fact that the new chick was a duplicate of my bff either.

Admitting that I can be a better parent at times. I do what I can for my kids, however there are times I can be more open, more caring and not so focused on things being perfect. My expectations for them are skewed. I have a hard time understanding how a five and three-year-old child should behave. I’m a work in progress and I’ll take it day by day.

The big picture is that even though I’m in a more happier space, I still have a lot on my mind. Avoiding things isn’t gonna change anything. Not owning up to mistakes or not closing doors on a positive note only leaves old wounds open.

Tackle your issues head on. That shit will pay off in the end.

😘Tiffy

Coming from out the blankets…

 

She was born in limbo
With the need to be as simple
As her makers and the made up things she dreamed
Falling from high buildings ’til she
Was numb to the feeling really
She would never be quite what she seemed
She was just as hollow as a
Earth opened up, swallowing her
Off the grid and into paradise, her whole life
On a ride, her whole life was on a ride, on a ride, life was on a ride

-Jhene Aiko

 

There have been so many people young, old, famous and not so famous killing themselves due to depression. I’ve been pretty absent from blogging and pretty much everything else. I too have been dealing with some depression issues, but at the end of the day, I must fight for myself and my family. There have been a few things that have recently happened in my life, and some things that have been dragging on for a very long time. Yes,I miss family, friends, dancing and just being the “old me” who used to smile and giggle at everything, be involved in tons of things at one time, dance four days a week and enjoy the skin I was in. I was and still am a dreamer, but I’ve never fulfilled my most important dreams (besides being a wife and mommy).  However, now that’s all in the past. Can I have that stuff back? Yep, absolutely! It’ll just take some time to get there.

I am on the road to true self discovery. I feel as I tell the truth about things and myself, I am becoming more free and feeling more better about myself. I’m not a medical professional, but I do know what works for me and what makes me happy. So I am taking it all day by day, creating task for myself, talking to my husband about everything.  I must say I really didn’t believe  that saying “The truth will set you free,”but it is SO true. I feel so much better after coming forward with things that I didn’t want people to know.

Aside from that I wanna say that cancer really sucks! I lost an aunt to cancer in early August and it’ s opened my eyes to a lot of things about life and the perception of ourselves to there people in our lives. It’s so important to leave a positive mark on the world. There’s so much I want to do. I was created for a purpose that is unique to only me.

 

Depression is real folks, but it doesn’t have to be the end.

 

 

 

http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/08/showbiz/simone-battle-suicide/

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2014/09/10/open-letter-to-robin-williams-on-world-suicide-prevention-day/

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2014/04/creator_of_for_brown_girls_blog_karyn_washington_reportedly_commits_suicide.html

Blasting on ya!

So I guess I’ve been MIA since this post, but I am alive and well. The semester is over and with all its ups and downs I did ok. Could I have done better? Yes, but overall I am pleased. Anyway, I have to warn you I have some content to post. I have saved and jotted down things but just didn’t have the time to post. So, I’m gonna flood the site with new content over the next few days  hence the ” Blasting on ya! reference;-)

Tifyip

Books, beaches and time management

Well folks, schools is back in session and I’m officially thinking I’m nuts for taking a full load of classes! However, my determination and I’m sure a fee tears along this journey will be all with it-I hope.

I’m also going back to work in a few days. I’m seriously dreading it by the way. When I’m off work I have a different focus. I’m not as presses for time to sleep , I’m not as uptight, and I’m just more peaceful.

Although I only work 2 nights a week, the night shift is rough. Rough on the body, mind and in my case spirit. I have no family here , no “free” sitter. So, my alone time is school time, I don’t have “free time” and I work the weekends. It’s HARD! I’m sure other moms can relate.

On a lighter note , I packed the kiddos up and headed to Clearwater area to see my mom or Granny as the kids call her. My 3 hour drive was great until Z decided to pretty much pee on herself then on my feet once we stopped outside ( long story, but I laugh now).

Mom took us to Indian Rocks beach and Z had a ball! Jp enjoyed himself too a small getaway before I went back to work.

I know that everyone has a journey and a destination in life and that walk is personal, we can never walk the same journey. However, my journey or situation may be similar to someone else’s . I know one day things will get easier with the kids and school will be completed, I’m just ready for that time to be in the present!

LOOK WHO HAS DECIDED TO FINALLY START HOLDING HIS BOTTLE!!

“Always gotta keep busy or the voices start telling me to do wild things”.
Steve Brown

I’ve been hosting company, going to class, and trying to have time with the kids and the hubster! Also my son had a small procedure this past week but I will post on that at a later date. Check the blog soon for that.

It’s officially the start of summer activities….. and I’m sick! the good part is I was pampered like a queen in Atlanta for my birthday last weekend. It started off that week with a surprise visit from one of my BFF’s from Michigan. She really helped me out with the kids too, my work and school schedule were all in the early week so I could go out of town. Then Friday the 18th we drove a few hours to Atlanta- I must get my hair done by one of my best college buddies while there so I spent Friday getting “too cute”. What I didn’t know was that my sister , mother and nephew were in on the trip too! I was totally surprised at dinner when I saw my family and a host of friends and the kids!!

Saturday was spent with the girls- shopping and my first spa day! I must say I will be requesting a facial and full body massage at least every 2 months ( hope the hubster reads this).

Please check out  The natural body  spa and shop  in your area! Extremely professional and relaxing! I will be going to the location here in Jax! Overall, I really enjoyed my birthday.

But now its time for BBQ, and fun in the sun just as rains from Beryl are coming. Oh yea did I mention It’s the end of May and I have a cold? Yea, summer colds friggin suck! I’m off of work until Thursday hopefully I can fight this sucker off and maybe get some rest. Anybody got a great way for me to knock this cold out in a few days? Bare in mind I am breastfeeding.

I hope you all have a festive Memorial Day and remember those that fought the fight and are still serving. 😉

tifyip

Smiling faces (well, sort of)

I’m going to beat my daughter…. yes, I know what your thinking “beat” is such a strong word. You ever had a moment where your child, student, niece, nephew or whomever just irks your most sensitive nerve? well, that’s the feeling I experience on a 24/7 basis.

Although this picture was taken a few month ago (Yea,I’m a little beat up and what!) my daughter Z was 2 at the time. Since turning 3 I figured the “terrible 2” stage would remove its evil spell from my home. However, what I call the “Diva 3” has occurred.

The usual !No! has turned into !No way!, the !No mommy! is now a mean ! I’m not going to…. and the list goes on. See that cutie pie I’m holding? That’s Jp and yes little miss Z has been caught trying to stomp the poor guy. With that said she is normally very protective of him – I promise.

Needless to say, I’m trying my best to have patience with her but disciplining her is very hard. She’s not at the point where listening  is her strong suit. It takes several threats and demands from me or the hubster to get her to comply with various task.

I’m almost at my wits end here…. I’m certain I’ll get through it, just don’t know if she will 🙂

Tifyip